| Footprints One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashes scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. " Lord, you said once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then I carried you." |
| RIGA, Latvia. Nadia & Ieva Visiting with Sister M.Velone and Sister Rosella. Missionaries of Charity |
| Life Reflections of a Gold Star Mom on Mother's Day 2006 By Nadia McCaffrey Did I actually give birth 36 years ago? My mind is wondering over sixty one years of my life, what does “Mother's Day” signify anymore?? I am trying desperately to rescue the vague meaning left of two words.. Or is it that the meaning is so strongly anchored within me, that, I am not sure how to deal with the disappearance of the dearest person in my life. I better get use to not getting a sweet card and flower, and phone calls ever again saying: Happy “Mother’s Day” MOM, I love you, your son, Patrick. For so many years, I took all messages of love for granted, what a fool I was! `Why do I wish today, that I had kept and saved it all? I never doubted that Patrick was my guardian and would watch over me until I died, as I watched over him while he was a baby, a child. What am I supposed to do next without him, without his wisdom, his compassion without his love, without his gentle strength, without his voice saying “I love you Mom you have always been here for me as I will be there for you..." Patrick’s birthday is almost there: May 26. For the past two years, I have been hiding to myself, the fact that Patrick was NEVER coming home. I did not say that I had accepted it, nor realized it. Patrick would have been 36 years old this year. I fully realize that this huge pain will never go anywhere, or fade away in the back round of my consciousness, NO, this pain will be with me until my last day on earth. Perhaps I will learn how to function with it, or perhaps not… What I am experiencing right now is uncertainty. For the first time in three years, or the beginning of the war, and since Patrick’s murder in Iraq, I have doubts. My faith, up until a month ago, was so strong and powerful, that I believed that anything could be accomplished or changed. I thought that by now, the Americans people would have awakened and stopped the corruption, the lies, the betrayal, the destruction and the killing of our country and its citizens, boy was I wrong!! How long is it going to take? Speaking across country non-stop for two years, I know that I have touched many people’s soul; many people have changed their life because of Patrick’s death… Patrick left on my shoulders, the burden to be part of the actions that will stop the war. He was very disillusioned with the whole picture. He felt betrayed as a Patriot, Patrick was not a fool, He knew the truth. However, he followed his heart after the blast of September eleven, and enlisted joining the National Guards (not the International Guards!), he wanted to help out his country and its people, and he wanted to serve within the country, not over seas; illegally invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11. How much more time is it going to take to glance at a peaceful world? I fear for my grand children’s future. However, after these blue notes, I shall pursue my Journey to Peace with as much compassion, unconditional love, tolerance and caring for each other as I can, and this is the road that I have chosen, I do the best that I can to fulfill every day and keep on my faith. Nadia McCaffrey, Gold Star Mother |
| May 26, 2006, Patrick Ryan’s 36th Birthday, “A Message from Heaven” It is the twenty fifth day of May. May 26 2006 my son Patrick would have celebrated his 36th birthday. At around ten o'clock I am wide awake and watering the flowers near the front door of the house I shared until recently with my son's window, Sylvia and their four year old daughter,Jenessa. I now live alone in the house Patrick bought for his family in Tracy, California. In the absence of the people I love most the house seems far too spacious and my whole being feels overwhelmed by sadness. I have spent most of the day watching some old pictures of my precious son and this evening sleep is not near. In my mind I can hear and see the children playing basketball out front with Patrick Junior; in the back yard Jenessa is giving a bad time to our dog, Lucky; Sylvia calls from the kitchen, asking Patrick to turn off the computer and come in for lunch. It seems only yesterday that we were planning a surprise birthday party for Patrick. It was Sylvia's idea to invite many of his long time friends from middle school and high school. Patrick had just returned from boot camp and some men from the National Guard were on hand to help him celebrate. It was a multicolored blend of friends. The house was filled with laughter and sad joy, and I sat to one side watching with a heavy heart. Shortly after that last party we learned that Patrick's unit was to be deployed to Iraq. In one of his last emails Patrick promised to send us some DVDs he was making of his experiences in Iraq. Without knowing exactly what I was doing I turned on the laptop he had taken with him and to my surprise some amazing video chips came to life. The computer was set to burn the DVDs of which Patrick had spoken. His daily life at Camp Anaconda flashed onto the screen: his work training Iraqi men for military service, coaching a friend to lift weights, and three moving tributes from friends, apparently made after his death. With these powerful images in my mind, I spent the rest of the night mourning for my son. As dawn was breaking I washed my face and lay down in my bed. After a few minutes I realized that sleep was impossible and for some reason I walked into the office and opened the blinds. Something metallic and shiny caught my attention , and filled with curiosity, I went outside to investigate. Caught in the flowers I had watered so many hours ago was a pretty blue and silver balloon with two sunflowers and a smiling butterfly. Intrigued, I reached down to pick it up and noticed that there was message framed by a signature of two hearts . With an ocean of tears rolling down my face, I read these words: I LOVE MY MOM. I love you Patrick, thank you my darling for giving me the motivation and courage to keep on with my "Journey to Peace". In the thirty four years of your short, yet full life, you have enlightened my spirit with so much love. Today with your help, I have all this compassion and peace to pass on to other "children" who have returned to live their lives with the terrible burden of their wartime memories and to the mothers that are learning, as I have, to go on without the sons and daughters who died for reasons we will never accept or understand. Nadia McCaffrey |
| Prayer for World Peace We pray to the great Spiritual Power in which we live and move and have our being. We pray that we may at all times keep our minds open to new ideas and shun dogma; that we may grow in our understanding of the nature of all living beings and our connectedness with the natural world; that we may become ever more filled with generosity of spirit and true compassion and love for all life; that we may strive to heal the hurts that we have inflicted on nature and control our greed for material things, knowing that our actions are harming our natural world and the future of our children; that we may value each and every human being for who he is, for who she is, reaching to the spirit that is within, knowing the power of each individual to change the world. We pray for social justice, for the alleviation of the crippling poverty that condemns millions of people around the world to lives of misery - hungry, sick, and utterly without hope. We pray for the children who are starving, who are condemned to homelessness, slave labor, and prostitution, and especially for those forced to fight, to kill and torture even members of their own family. We pray for the victims of violence and war, for those wounded in body and for those wounded in mind. We pray for the multitudes of refugees, forced from their homes to alien places through war or through the utter destruction of their environment. We pray for suffering animals everywhere, for an end to the pain caused by scientific experimentation, intensive farming, fur farming, shooting, trapping, training for entertainment, abusive pet owners, and all other forms of exploitation such as overloading and overworking pack animals, bull fighting, badger baiting, dog and cock fighting and so many more. We pray for an end to cruelty, whether to humans or other animals, for an end to bullying, and torture in all its forms. We pray that we may learn the peace that comes with forgiving and the strength we gain in loving; that we may learn to take nothing for granted in this life; that we may learn to see and understand with our hearts; that we may learn to rejoice in our being. We pray for these things with humility; We pray because of the hope that is within us, and because of a faith in the ultimate triumph of the human spirit; We pray because of our love for Creation, and because of our trust in God. We pray, above all, for peace throughout the world. Prayer for World Peace Dr. Jane Goodall We hope that 2008 will be a year of peace, joy and fulfilment for you! "Dance as though no one is watching you, Love as though you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you, Live as though heaven is on earth." The Staff of FindtheDivine and SeekaRetreat - Phil, Peter, Isabelle, Fields, Cindy and Martha www.findthedivine.com www.seekaretreat.com |
| Prayer to Our Lady From a Gold Star Mother, Nadia McCaffrey Happy Birthday ma "Petite Maman du Ciel" I gave you my only son on June 22, 2004, (15 month ago), fallen in Iraq, he just turned 34, like you I will feel this pain for ever. I have forgiven they, who have killed him. I am at peace in my heart, and love is, to serve you, please, take good care of him until we meet again. I will do my best to watch over his 2 children Janessa, 4, and Patrick Junior, 10, and Silvia, my lovely daughter in law. I love you and pray to you please, give me your strength to fulfill my mission on this earth. In you Service, In your Light, In your Peace. Happy Birthday Je seme une pluie de petales de roses a tes pieds.... Nadia |
| WELCOME TO OUR PRAYER CIRCLE |
INTERNATIONAL CIRCLE OF PRAYER & MEDITATION |
| You may email Nadia McCaffrey Nadia is an ordained Minister since 1991, and a Chaplain nadia@motherinblack.org We respect all races, color, gender, and religions, we are all children of the Universe. We are One. We start the new prayer request on Mondays The Circle begin at 11: 45 am for 45 minutes. Prayers-meditations will be done every day for two weeks, or longer if needed. The Power of Prayers Never Fails Please use the contact page to send us your request We need a first and last name, the reasons for a demand of prayer, a location Along the years we have seen some amazing Miracles We are interfaith (Nondenominational) A Service organization. Your donations are welcome We pray and meditate on important life issues and for the best of all concern of the Soul To pray for someone we must have a request We welcome your stories We always are in need of new volunteers for the prayer circle We have been initiating prayers-meditations-healings for over a decade now We have seen many wonderful miracles Well, we need your help constantly The more people will join our Circle , the more power we will have to help others Thank you for responding |
| NOMINATION February 14 2002, Selection Committee: INSTITUTE of NOETIC SCIENCES The Temple Awards for Creative Altruism Dear Committee: Nadia McCaffrey is an extraordinary woman who fits the criteria for this award. She draws people to her and exhibits in her personal work and creative endeavors generosity and caring for others. She is currently laying the groundwork for centers to support those terminally ill with very little time to live. She is a model of creative altruism. She has unselfish ideals, which she put into action. She is loving, compassionate, kind and non violent in her work and in her person hood. As the attached indicates, her current activities exhibit creative altruism. They also touch upon her background. She is a dedicated, committed, courageous, giving human who has an idea and is putting it into concrete reality. Her present work shows her vision and her philosophy. She is charismatic and influences those who witness her drive and conviction. The references noted can give greater testimony to the qualities mentioned, as can the advisory board should the Committee wish to contact any of them. Nadia is a far-from-ordinary human of the highest integrity, a very strong work ethic, caring, personable, energized to her goal. Her faith in what she believes in is evident. I invite the Committee to look further into this committed woman who is doing so much and will do so much more. Sincerely, Charles J. Holmes |
| Our Prayers Circle Started Twelve Years Ago. Thank you Angels |
| Do good anyway... People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered... Forgive them anyway If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives... Be kind anyway If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies... Succeed anyway If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you... Be honest and frank anyway What you may spend years building, someone may destroy overnight... Build anyway If you find serenity and happiness, people may be jealous... Be happy anyway The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow... Do good anyway Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough... Give the world the best you have anyway You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God... It was never between you and them anyway Mother Teresa |
| Benjamin Franklin said this prayer every day: "O Powerful Goodness, Bountiful Father, Merciful Guide, Increase in me that wisdom which discovers my truest interest. Strengthen my resolution to perform that wisdom dictates. Father of Light and Life, Thou Good Supreme, teach me what is good. Teach me Thyself. Save me from folly, vanity, vice, from every low pursuit. Fill my soul with knowledge, conscious peace, virtue pure, sacred, substantial, never-fading perseverance." - Benjamin Franklin |
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GOLD STAR MOTHER’ …DAY ? May 11 2008 Mother’s Day? What is the meaning of these two words? By Nadia McCaffrey The fact is that there is no one left to call me Mother anymore! I need to gather myself in order to remain psychologically sound. As every year, for four years, this year is unlike the last, as time goes, the harder, the more excruciating the pain has become. I miss Patrick’s voice telling me: I love you Mom...just calling out of the blue for no reason, that was typical of Patrick . I have the regret to say that I had not fully grasped the deep meaning of his spontaneous actions, I always have loved him so very much, just seeing him for a short few minutes made my day worth while. Patrick was born 38 years ago (May 26 1970) at Stanford University Hospital, weighing just over five pounds at 1:30 pm his birth took an hour, what an amazing day that was, Bob and I just became parents of a child that one day would become a legend in his own way and a role model for many. What have I accomplished since Patrick’s death? I feel as I am drowning in the middle of an ocean without shores. I cannot think of myself, my thoughts are not here. Someone said to me once: “Nadia everything that you do is about Patrick or because of Patrick” I never had thought of it this way, but it probably has some truth! Memories…My Darling son has not faded in any way from my vision, my memory, and my emotions. Last week, walking by the wheat crackers section of the supermarket, I suddenly burst into tears, seeing in my minds eye the very last package that we had sent to Camp Anaconda, Patrick never received it... he was killed instead and the package came back to us un-opened from Iraq, never got his “Altama” desert boots either. The boots forever empty will never be worn and are now on display near his medals and photographs. On his daily phone call, I remember his words with a heaviness of despair in his voice, asking me if we had sent the package yet. He needed his boots, the old pair was holding with duct tape. I remember three days after Patrick’s death, his house in Tracy, was packed with flowers and people, we happened to be watching a series of digital photographs that the soldiers had send us from Iraq, on the computer with Jeanne (who had babysat for him in Sunnyvale) others were standing behind my chair, suddenly we stared at one-another with tears rolling down our cheeks while we all became speechless the room stood in a perfect still, an heavenly sent of roses filled the room so powerfully, after a moment Silvia shouted: "Mom…it’s Patrick, he his here with us now"… I remember the day of Patrick’s Memorial at Fry’s Chapel, hundred’s of people came, and many stood outside the chapel. Patrick Junior and Janessa Marie were playing in the chapel and laughing, I finally got a hold of Junior who was nine years old at the time, and talk to him gently explaining and at the same time asking if he understood that it was his father inside the flag draped coffin standing before us and that was not respectful to run inside the place. Junior looked at me and said: "yea grandma but, when is my Daddy coming home?" My jaw dropped, and I understood at this instant that we were heading for a long haul of sad emptiness in our lives… It was hot, after briefly talking to the large number of media; we headed back to the house, while Patrick’s body left for his last Home in Oceanside. We had to get ready to proceed in driving ourselves to meet at the cemetery for a very last ceremony. I was in the TV room; Janessa was playing with Lucky in the backyard. Janessa came in the house shouting: "Grandma, she had a strong hold of my hand and pull me outside with her, pointing at the lemon tree, she said:...see daddy is here, he loves Janessa, grandma can he stay with us now?" She had this marvelous spark in her eyes and smile that she only had in Patrick’s presence. I was choking and sobbing, in tears that wouldn’t stop, of course only Janessa saw her Daddy, I felt Patrick’s powerful and loving self… There isn't a moment in a day where his presence is not at my side; Patrick is my strength, my motivation, my only reason of still existing. With his love I made up a fabric of idealistic dreams dictated by his very own. The main question is: Is it happening? Is the Dream Happening? If it is, then why does it seem never to end, the dream, I mean. The Centers, I can see them, touch them, walk in them; I know that the materialization is near completion, the interest in the efficiency and purpose of the vision itself has become national and even international. Do I have the power to close the chapter of this project before life exits my body? I am not so sure anymore. I know that I am at cross-roads where the choice is made available to me. The temptation of letting go is strong, not waking up seems easy enough; my health is degrading on daily basis. The challenge has become a black wall where I cannot see the top nor the end, I am becoming exhausted, it is hard to breath, it is painful inhaling each breath this body is telling me to hurry up and finish what I have started, I feel like I am literally falling apart and I am not sure that I can reverse the process I need a miracle to stay alive enough time to finish my mission... we will see! Holding on to life by a thread, I need to keep my vision undisturbed until completion. On the other end I want to fulfill Patrick’s wishes and be the grandma that he wanted me to be. Yes, but what am I going to do about it? I feel very proud of my grand children, Junior has come a long way since Patrick's death, every day he acts and looks more like his dad and he is becoming quiet an athlete and a gentleman as well as a peace maker. Once in a while he and I have a serious talk. Patrick would be so proud of him now, and I make a point to tell him that, I also remind Junior that he can do whatever he choose to do in life and stay with it, never quit. Those are some of Patrick last words to Junior. I truly enjoy his company and conversation, he shows a very healthy curiosity of a bright mind. His Heart is in a very good place, I love him very much. My little Janessa is still struggling hard, she needs her dad so badly, they were so close to each other. I remember, when Patrick came home from boot camp, the family came to welcome him in Santa Rosa airport, the soldiers lined up by the airplane and started to walk in our direction there was quiet a distance and before any one of us could see Patrick, Janessa started to climb the wire fence and screaming Daddy Daddy my Daddy, Silvia and I had a bad time holding on to her, she was 2 years old... She eventually run off into the field toward the long line of National guardsmen and women, straight to her Dad, Patrick did the same thing, run off from the orderly walk to pick up Janessa in his strong arms both laughing to tears and holding on tight to each other…it was quiet a site! And then there is the LION KING. Patrick and Janessa both were sitting in the master bedroom watching the Lion King, Janessa would watch the Disney feature 5 times (average) daily. This took place the night before Patrick left for deployment to Iraq. I was listening to their voices thinking sadly that this family joy was coming to an end. At the part where the Lion King is killed in “an ambush” betrayed by his brother, Janessa grabbed on to her father so hard and made a knot of her little fingers around Patrick’s neck almost crying telling him: “Daddy that’s you, Daddy that’s you…” Patrick run to me in the kitchen where Silvia and I were cooking dinner for all of us, and his face was flushed: "Mom, do you know what Janessa just told me? I am not coming back am I Mom?" Of course I said, "she is just a baby sweet heart, she doesn't know"…but, did Janessa have the knowledge of her Daddy‘s faith? After that day Patrick had left his home never to walk trough the door again, it became a tradition for Janessa and I to watch the Lion King on daily basis and every time the film reached the death of the Lion she curled up close to me and keep saying to me” Grandma that’s my Daddy… Her will is strong and her heart is golden, she truly is a gift. In some ways I am afraid for her she is such a rebel just like I, it make me feel helpless, I know who she is. Janessa is making so much progress in school now, thank goodness for a great tutor. Last holiday was the closest of a Christmas we have had since 2004. We trooped together at Bob’s house in Bella Vista with Janessa Marie, Patrick Junior, Silvia and I. It was a delight to watch Patrick’s children re-discovering each other after a much too long separation and Lucky (Patrick’s dog) was very joyful to see all of us. The last evening we had in Tracy as a family, Patrick opened up, he and I talked on the bench, the silence was heavy and meaningful between words. Later that evening he asked me to get the Medicine Cards and he picked one of the them, it was the RAVEN, laughing he pointed at his shoulder patch : Mom I am a Raven! (Patrick was attached to the 81 Brigade from Washington “The Ravens” his Unit the 579 from Petaluma was small, 90 soldiers) The card had this words to share “Open yourself to Miracles Use new eyes, Believe in Magic Embrace life’s Wonders” Watching the crows and ravens flying around us, Patrick would laugh and say: If I don’t make it back, I will be here watching over all of you, I will be. Patrick was shot 8 times with the cards on his chest. Nadia McCaffrey Gold Star Mother |
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